No matter how much you and your partner love each other, it’s inevitable that your relationship will eventually face challenges. Even an otherwise loving relationship can be derailed by poor communication. Many couples end up rehashing the same arguments over and over again without making any progress. It’s not uncommon for people to have trouble expressing themselves, or to feel as if they aren’t being heard or understood. A healthy relationship requires a strong foundation grounded in communication. We aren’t born with those skills—they’re something that must be developed over time.
In today’s article, we’ll explore 5 communication skills you can use to improve your relationship.
Table of Contents
Self-Reflection
Before we can communicate our needs to others, it’s important that we understand them ourselves. What this means is that it’s important for us to set aside time to reflect on our own needs and wants, and to practice putting those feelings into words. Before sitting down to discuss an issue with your partner, take some time to put those thoughts down on paper. When doing this, it’s important to be clear and concise.
- Be specific in laying out your goals.
- Keep your focus narrow—don’t get distracted.
- Avoid criticism by focusing on your needs.
Remember, this process is about self-reflection. Don’t get bogged down in the details of what someone else is doing—pay close attention to what you’re feeling, and what you want.
Schedule Check-Ins
No matter how busy life gets, checking in with each other is crucial. As important as taking care of the day-to-day may be, maintaining a healthy relationship requires making it a priority. Work with your partner to come up with a schedule for routine check-ins. Taking time out of your day to do so can help you build trust, meet each other’s needs, and keep little problems from turning into big ones.
Daily check-ins work best when they occur at the same time each day. Schedule a few minutes in the morning, or a have conversation before bedtime, for example.
Stay Team-Focused
When communicating with your partner, it works best to approach problems as a team. Imagine yourself and your partner sitting on one side of the table, with the problem sitting on the other side of the table. Whatever that problem is, your job is to tackle it together. That means staying focused on solutions—and being able to trust that you’ll both do your part.
Engage in Active Listening
Active listening is a skill that requires patience and practice to develop. When someone is engaged in active listening, they are fully present in the conversation and focused on understanding what the other person is saying, instead of waiting for their chance to respond. The listener should:
- Avoid interrupting their partner.
- Ask questions to clarify points.
- Repeat what they’ve heard to verify they understand.
- Avoid distractions, such as cell phones & screens.
Even beyond helping you understand your partner better, active listening is a way of showing your partner respect. It’s a way of giving their feelings the spotlight. This way they can be heard and you can develop a plan of action to help address whatever’s bothering them.
Slow and Steady
Communication can be stressful. How often have you gotten into a heated debate at school or work? Any time we’re dealing with a problem, there’s potential for tempers to flare. Accordingly, it’s important for you and your partner to take your time working through these issues. Take breaks. Ask for time to think about what’s been discussed so far, and set a time to revisit it. Complex problems aren’t generally solved overnight—give each other time to think things over instead of pushing each other past your breaking point.
Schedule an Appointment
Are you struggling with communication in your relationships? You’re not alone. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation for couples counseling and we can create a plan to develop the communication skills you need to improve your relationship.
