Feeling grief is a natural, universal human experience so we think it’s important for us all to understand what it is, and the stages of this normal response. Understanding the experience of grief and the stages can help us process and navigate our emotions as we go through a potentially challenging time in our lives.
Table of Contents
What is grief?
Grief is an emotional response to a loss and a loss can stem from various ways: the death of a loved one, the end of a friendship or romantic relationship, or any significant life change.
The Six Stages of Grief:
These stages of grief are not linear and they can look different from person to person, but knowing what they are can give us a framework for understanding the process of grieving.
1. Denial
Denial is a protective coping mechanism that your mind utilizes to protect itself from the immediate shock of loss. It’s difficult to accept the new reality and we may say statements like ‘this can’t be happening’. In this stage, we may feel detached or we try to carry on as if nothing has happened.
2. Anger
Anger may look like frustration, irritation, or rage but this emotion appears in the process of grieving due to us feeling powerless or feeling a lack of control of the situation. Our experience of grief during this phase may include blaming others, feeling resentful, or experiencing sudden outbursts of rage.
3. Bargaining
During the bargaining stage, we may dwell on what could have been or what we could have done differently (to prevent the loss). Trying to negotiate with a higher power, ‘what if’ statements, and mulling over past actions is a way for us to regain a sense of control and find meaning in the situation.
4. Depression
We begin to confront the new reality during the depression stage. Feelings of deep sadness and hopelessness often accompany grief. During this stage, we may withdraw from social activity, develop a lack of interest in daily life, and experience changes in sleep or appetite.
5. Acceptance
Acceptance does not mean we’re ‘okay’ with the loss, but this stage indicates that we’re learning to accept our new reality. We’re ready to acknowledge and accept what our new life looks like.
The final stage we want to discuss that David Kessler established in 2019 is:
6. Finding Meaning
You may assume that this is the same as the acceptance stage. However, during this stage, we will try to find a sense of purpose in the loss we experienced. Finding meaning helps us to not only live with the loss but to find ways to move forward, grow from the experience, and transform our pain into strength or purpose.
Now that we talked about what grief is and what the stages of grief look like, here are a few tips to support yourself and others through the process:
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Acknowledge Your Feelings
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Practice Self-Care
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Be Patient
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Seek Professional Help
Here at Relucent Psychology Group, our therapists are prepared and eager to support you or a loved one during your journey through grief. We want to acknowledge that grief is a complex and deeply personal journey and it’s okay to seek help and support from others during a time of grieving. If you’re interested in learning more about our therapy services, including depression therapy, feel free to contact us to see how we can help.
