Table of Contents
What is Trauma Bonding?
Trauma bonding occurs when a victim of abuse develops a deep emotional attachment to their abuser. This connection often underlies many toxic relationships, making it extremely hard to break free from, especially in long-term relationships. The abuser in a trauma bond alternates between abusive behavior and moments of extreme affection or kindness. These intermittent bursts of love and affection can create a cycle of hope and dependency, binding the victim emotionally despite the ongoing harm.
Signs of Trauma Bonding
Trauma bonding thrives in environments where the victim may feel isolated or lack support from others. Abusers can exploit this isolation by creating dependency, convincing the victim that they are the only source of love in their life. In many situations, recognizing trauma bonding can be difficult due to the mask of emotional attachment, but here are a few common signs:
- Justifying or Rationalizing Abuse – Downplaying or attempting to justify the abuser’s harmful actions can be an indicator of trauma bonding. Victims of trauma bonding will try to put the blame on themselves, and insist that the abuser will change eventually.
- Hesitation to Leave – Even when the abuse is clear, and the victim recognizes the harm that the relationship is causing, they are reluctant to leave. The emotional connection can feel unbreakable, making it feel almost impossible for the victim to leave.
- Isolation – In trauma bonds, abusers will often manipulate the victim into cutting ties with friends and family who can provide needed support. This sense of dependency on the abuser can make it even more difficult for the victim to leave.
Breaking A Trauma Bond
Overcoming a trauma bond is not easy, but it is possible with self-awareness, support, and time. Here are a few steps to help guide your healing:
- Recognize the Problem – Simply just acknowledging the existence of a trauma bond can be difficult for many; it’s hard to accept the fact that your relationship has been built on harm, but acceptance is the first step towards healing. This realization will reframe the relationship through the lens of abuse rather than love.
- Seek Support – Rebuilding your support network that you may have lost during your trauma bond can provide valuable insights and new perspectives to the abuse you’ve suffered. With the right people, you can rebuild your self-esteem and process your emotions clearly
- Rebuild Independence – Reconnecting with hobbies, goals, and daily activities will help you regain your sense of self outside of the relationship. You’ll begin to see your own self-worth and your ability to independent and not reliant on your abuser
Trauma bonding thrives on confusion and fear, but understanding it can empower victims to reclaim their lives for themselves, not their abusers. If you want to start your recovery journey, or need help starting, don’t be afraid to reach out to us here at Relucent for a free trauma therapy consultation!
