Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you depend on for safety and care causes harm instead. This concept, rooted in betrayal trauma theory, suggests that victims may “forget” traumatic experiences to survive, especially in childhood. However, it can affect individuals of any age when there’s a high level of dependency on the abuser. Betrayal trauma can stem from various sources, including parents, intimate partners, or even institutions.
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Tips on How to Heal from Betrayal Trauma
If you’re suffering from betrayal trauma, it’s natural to feel like trust and love are out of reach. However, healing is possible. Recognize that your feelings are valid, but don’t let them define your future. Here are some tips to help you out.
Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of your physical health is crucial for healing from betrayal trauma. It helps release stored trauma and reinforces your self-worth. Prioritize hydration, nourishing meals, regular exercise, and good sleep habits. Elevate your self-care routine with activities that bring peace and joy, like massages or manicures. These practices build a foundation for long-term physical and mental well-being, aiding your recovery journey.
Validate the Trauma
Acknowledging betrayal trauma is a crucial first step towards healing. While it may be tempting to avoid the pain, facing the reality of what occurred head-on is essential. This doesn’t mean condoning the betrayal but accepting its impact on your life. By validating your experience, you create space for processing emotions and beginning the recovery journey.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining your well-being after experiencing betrayal trauma. These limits define what you’re comfortable with in personal or professional relationships. Start with soft boundaries, which are flexible guidelines rather than non-negotiable rules. For example, you might say, “I prefer a phone call if you’ll be home late.” Remember, boundaries are unique to each individual, so identify and communicate yours clearly.
Build Healthy Relationships
Surrounding yourself with trustworthy, supportive people is crucial for healing from betrayal trauma. These relationships provide a foundation for rebuilding trust and offer opportunities for enjoyment and social connection. To assess a relationship’s health, ask yourself: “Do I feel free to be myself with this person?” and “Can we openly discuss and resolve conflicts when they arise?”
Share Your Story
Healing from betrayal trauma often begins with opening up. While vulnerability can be challenging, sharing your experience in a safe environment, such as with a trusted friend or therapist, can be incredibly therapeutic. Consider journaling as a private outlet for self-expression. You’ll gain clarity and perspective by articulating your thoughts and emotions, paving the way for healing and personal growth.
Discover Your Passion
Betrayal trauma can leave you feeling lost and disconnected from yourself. Reconnecting with your passions is crucial for healing. Make a list of activities you enjoyed as a child or have always wanted to try. Whether painting, hiking, or learning a new language, pursuing your interests can remind you of your identity beyond the betrayal. Embrace these opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth.
Talk to a Therapist
Recovering from betrayal trauma is a challenging journey that often requires professional guidance. A trauma-informed therapist can help you navigate complex emotions and develop effective coping strategies. They’ll assist you in managing symptoms like anxiety and helplessness while also teaching you to establish healthy boundaries in relationships.
As you navigate the challenging journey of healing from betrayal trauma, remember that recovery is possible with time, support, and self-compassion. By acknowledging your pain, practicing self-care, and seeking professional help when needed, you can gradually rebuild trust and reclaim your sense of self. Embrace the opportunity to rediscover your strengths, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate meaningful relationships. If you’d like us to help you on this journey, book a consultation today.
