Relationships are an intensive commitment that require effort from all parties involved. It’d be an understatement to say that it’s difficult to find a relationship where everyone’s boxes are checked. There’s an endless amount of factors that contribute to healthy relationships — from shared hobbies and future goals, to trust and respect for one another. Our differences in desires and views of relationships can often lead to conflicts and separation, but this doesn’t always have to be the case. Despite these differences, proper communication and respecting each other’s values will help you understand your partner and their needs, which is vital in forming a healthy relationship.
It’s not as simple as it sounds though; relationship conflicts are unique to everyone, and it can be hard to know how to handle certain situations. More specifically, if your partner has decided that they want to “open” up the relationship and consider polyamory, what should you do?
Table of Contents
Understanding Polyamory
First, what is polyamory? Polyamory means being involved in romantic relationships with multiple people, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It’s natural to wonder, but why would my partner want this? Am I not enough? These questions are common, but often, a partner’s preference for polyamory isn’t about a lack in the relationship – it’s simply their way of finding fulfillment. Just as you might have a preference for monogamy, others naturally feel more aligned with non-monogamous relationships. Understanding this can help you empathize with your partner and begin to work toward mutual understanding.
Communicating
Now that you have a better understanding about polyamory, it’s time to understand what your partner wants. Despite how difficult or awkward it may be, there needs to be a clear conversation between the two of you about goals and expectations of the relationship. Proper communication requires active listening and discussion combined with honesty and acceptance. Disagreements are going to be normal, but they’re going to take time and effort from both of you to resolve. Compromises are another essential part in maintaining such a complicated relationship, but don’t forget to define your boundaries, and let your partner know when that boundary has been crossed. It’s okay to feel insecure or jealous, especially if you practice monogamy, but be sure to communicate those feelings with your partner, and let them help you when you become overwhelmed.
Building or Letting Go
It’s important to preface that considering polyamory doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship has to end. However, it’s essential to note that true polyamory is built on trust, not deception. While making an effort to create a balanced relationship is valuable, sometimes recognizing that your relationship isn’t functional can be more beneficial than trying to force it.
If you’re dealing with complex relationship struggles and want to find a possible solution, don’t be afraid to reach out to us at Relucent Psychology Group for a couples therapy consultation.
